Emotionally his feelings varied from numbness to distress and loss, but along with that there was a nameless ache. It informed what he wrote. Some songs were aggressively dismissive, others plaintiff, still others embracing a new start without one's love. Looking back, he recognised it as one of the most productive times of his life.Towards the end of his exile, he noted increasingly frequent attempts by Viv to contact him, but he ignored them until Gus cornered him."What the fuck is wrong with you, Ged?" he grumbled. "Viv needs to talk with you. Hasn't your sulk gone on long enough? Phone her!"He did and she invited him to the Cambridge Folk Festival at which the group were singing."Ged, you've been a hermit for long enough; we miss you. Come and sing with your friends. Bring your guitar and your keyboard."Her voice seemed to awaken him, and he felt an attraction to the idea of performing again, so he agreed. The group, called Vivienne's Friends, came to him in his house and they. ..Generally I wore a wig (pinned to my hair with about a thousand clips), but every now and then I just styled my own hair which was getting modestly long and shaggy. John didn't seem to care, or comment either way.And speaking of John, after those first few weeks, I began to see him more and more. I'd be working at the computer and he'd just walk in, his pants unbuttoned even before the door was shut.And of course I would have to immediately drop what I was doing and rush over to kneel before him. "Thank you sir, for allowing me the pleasure of sucking your cock," I would say, kissing his penis.And then I would take it in my mouth and suck him off.With all of my practice on the dildo (10 times a day for 15 minutes each - work it out, that's over 2 hours a day) I got really good at controlling my mouth. I could apply suction under almost any circumstance, and after about a month I was able to take his entire shaft into my mouth without gagging (fortunately, John's not that.
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